Sorry is not the answer to forget but the start of forgiveness

I can't promise I won't be a fool again but I never had cruel intentions
Put me in detention as long as you want then you'll see....

There's a million words but its never enough, i say I love you and I am sorry but then I get stuck

I'm Sorry

A break for my Best friend

Well,

Over the past 3/4s of a year I have made some really great friends within my University but there is only one or two out of them that I know I can REALLY REALLY confide in. Unfortunately, I have never really recognised that telling these people everything wrong with my life could have an affect on theirs.... Over the last month, I have needed someone to confide in and this one person has been there through it all fo me but I have never taken a step back to think

'Hang on a second.... what is all of this doing to them??'

Last night I was told that someone cannot always necerssarily take on all of my woes and worries and fears for me and it made me realise how selfish I had become......

This blog is written for this person to give them a break from all of the S*** that I have placed on them over the last few months. and if they ever read it I hope that they can forgive me for all the crap I have put them through. 

I think the major problem for me right now is the fact that I don't know what I am doing with my life at the minute. I know what I want to be an SC and I want to finish uni and I want to do so many things right now BUT seem to be messing everything up in my aspirations to do it......

I seem to ruin every friendship I have and I recently have rushed into a relationship that I am not sure is what I really want.

I want to move out and I really don't know how to tell my parents

I am always tired and stressed atm and hate it

I feel that the way I am at the minute no one wants to be around me and that I I am just so sorry to anyone and everyone that I seem to have annoyed


SORRY SORRY SORRY

Hello Everybody!!!

Another post here now and Oh my is is long awaited!!

What can I say.... I was wrong, I Bloody love University now!! I have met some awesome people who I know I am going to remain great friends with for a very long time :) 

I have now gone through the application prrocess for Kent Special Constabulary and was successful up until the medical stage.... Hearing, sight and everything else like that was fine but typical me I let myself get to a stupidly massive weight so have had to lose nearly a stone and a half in weight... I have 5lbs to go and 2 weeks and 2 days to do it in to reach my set deadline. If I am successful then it will mean that I will hopefully get into the 4 week intensive training course in April which would mean, if I pass that, I could be onto the streets of Thanet by the summer.... I cannot wait :) :) :)

Although I have had a totally amazing time at University so far, and I would really reccommend it to anyone thinking about, It has been an insane emotional rollercoaster so far. I think the main thing is because I am growing up and am out virtually all the time either due to work, uni or socialising, my dad really seems down everytime I close the front door behind myself. I do feel bad about this but the problem is I am getting older and my parents do need to realise that I will not be around as much as I used to be, Hell I may even move out next year <---- :o I know insane right! 

Not to say I do not miss juust staying at home and chilling for the day cause I do and when I do go home I do not feel I can relax because of it but hey that's life huh? :s

 In more happier news, I finally went to a class at the gym for the first time in what.... 2 and a half years of being a member there. I tried out pump from the word of a great friend and I absolutely loved it!!! It was amazing and although I was a little disappointed with the fact that it didn't burn as many calories as I hoped, I am so going to do it again this friday : )

Ok then, well I spose I better go for now and actually listen to the lecturer we have now :p *yawn* monday morning lecture drains no matter how awake you are !!!!!