Today I went over to my mothers and that is always a nice time in my opinion. Its nice to get away from the everyday routine. It was also nice to see my younger brothers andd sister who I haven't seen in a while. The only problem is that this side of my family is going through a lot of problems at the moment. I don't think it is my place to state what is going on but I need to vent somewhere and here is where to for that to happen. I do not want to burden anyone with what going on in my head at the moment as there are probably more dramatic things going on in their lives then in my head. So I am going to write it all down and if anyone reads it then they will have a glimpse into what is going on.
At 18years old people start to belive that you are more grown up and adult both physically and mentally. This does not happen overnight and I don't know whether that is a good thing or not. I want to be informed of what is going on in the real world and not kept out of the loop like a child but it can become too much. I do not think I am mature enough yet to cope with some of the emothional demands of what some adults have to go through.
Basically, my mum lets me know how the situation involving my younger siblings is going on once a week. I want to know what is going on but I am finding it difficult to keep my emothions in check. I want to stay strong for her and I don't know if I can. I am really worried that this situation is going to break up the family and I do not want this to happenas I think anyone would.
Today was hard as mum had more to say about the situation then usual and teh stuff that was said was difficult to hear. The annoying thing is that there isn't 1 bloody think I can do about it and its driving me insane. I know how my mum must feel but stress is running high here too due to exams that will determine my future are coming up. When is it that the most problematic moments in your life occour when you never want them too?
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